The Rarity Called Loyalty

Even though loyalty is considered an ideal, it is so hard to find in real life. Loyalty deficit is amply visible to anyone who has ever hired employees to work for him/her. It’s a disturbing trend that no matter how many perks & courtesies you offer to your employees, they are very rarely loyal to you or your vision. That’s how terms like ‘insider trading’ etc became a part of our lingua franca.

A person who is not true to his/her word is slightly less of a human being. Loyalty is not just a new word that’s learnt in school, it’s a virtue which when imbibed in each person’s personality would make this world a much more conducive & happy place to mutually co exist in. Why do we always forget goodness so easily?

Learning To Be Mentally Strong

In life if there is one lesson that should be understood by one & all (irrespective of the ‘n’ number of individual differences that exist in the world), it is that we need to be mentally well built. There is a reason why our brain is situated right on top of our bodies. Our mind rules everything. Perception is often different from sensation. Our perception defines our lives.

Imbibe the fact that we cannot possibly control everything – we can’t dictate the terms of someone else’s life. At best, we have power over our own lives & that ‘power’ streams from our mind. If we choose to be helpless in front of circumstances, then please remember we are making a CHOICE. If we are anyway choosing, it’s better to make a better, wiser choice, isn’t it? Opt to be in control of YOURSELF. Life will eventually fall in order because it consists of seasons – one season after the other & time heals the biggest of wounds. Don’t let yourself disintegrate with the winds of time rather be like pollen & fly with the wind to plant a new life 🙂

Secondly, BREATHE. Yeah, just that. Breathing in & out fully for 30-90 seconds helps in anxiety management. Don’t believe me? Try it out yourself the next time you are panicking over that dreaded exam or that investors’ pitch or even when someone dear is admitted in the hospital. Respiration has the power to heal your nerves.

Stress will always be a part of human & animal life. We can’t wish it away. Frankly, even animals undergo stress from time to time. During such times, never forget that we are more than the sum of all the chapters that exist in this book called ‘Life’. Some chapters may be hard but some are easy too. Let’s stride through this journey with a smile because we won’t help the situation by sobbing anyway. In fact, we may make it worse.
Light & Peace to All 🙂

The Balm Called Music

Music can instantly lighten the atmosphere. It has the capacity to uplift your mood & make you feel better in a matter of minutes. No wonder most soap operas & movies have a background score to add that extra effect. Even animals seem to respond to some soulful tunes. Seriously, life without music can be so dry.

One piece of unsolicited advice, next time you feel low, turn to music therapy. You may just see your happy, confident self come back 🙂

Discipline & The Human Race

Most of us are lazy by nature but because we need to survive (& thrive, if you may), we need to work consistently hard every single day. Irrespective of your profession – you may be a housewife, a student, an entrepreneur or an office goer, you are made to put in your best efforts.

Isn’t it interesting to wonder why humans are often expected to do things which don’t normally come naturally to us? As in, most of us would like to snooze the alarm in the morning & return to the refuge of our slumber but we are expected to wake up & be disciplined. Why are we wired in ways which are different from what is expected of us? Discipline doesn’t come innately to the best of us – you would know if you have ever struggled to live up to your new year resolutions…they are meant to be broken, they say! Seriously, did you go that gym for more than three consecutive days in January? 🙂

The reason why people need regular motivational talks to pep themselves up is because motivation, discipline, consistency, hard work don’t come so easily to us as aggression or laziness does. Please, tell me someone, as to why these undesirable traits are readily accessible to us within ourselves but desirable traits have to be mined like coal? Mining is hard & strenuous while vices are like ready-to-eat packaged food. The argument is that strenuous labor keeps you fit while packaged food gives you health problems in the long run then my question is why are we wired to pick up that packet of wafers more than wearing those walking shoes? Something to ponder about..

Empathy-less Folks Cut Such A Sorry Figure!

Have you ever had an encounter (an unfortunate one, though! ) with a person who simply lacks empathy (i.e. the ability to feel what another is going through)? How can such people ever truly be happy, I wonder. What would you say to a person who is bereft of emotions or someone who only reserves emotions like care for a select few (say, close family members) and not for anyone else?

I really feel sorry for such empathy less souls. To my mind, they don’t deserve to be called humans in the right sense simply because a person is just bones & flesh without emotions. Emotions are what set a human apart. Empathy is a trait only found in homo sapiens. Yes animals (especially dogs,horses etc) are intelligent but they can at best sympathize with their human masters. There is a difference between sympathy & empathy.

Such insensitive ‘humans’ eventually end up lonely in life because probably all they did was invest in money or career instead of investing in relationships as well. The quality of a person’s life is determined by only two factors – how happy they are & whether they have meaningful relationships to fall back on or not. Money can’t buy happiness, it’s a fact.

I would urge all those reading this article to develop compassion & empathy in themselves – it’s never too late to embrace positivity & virtues because please remember, in life, what goes around comes around. If we are rude & harsh, the world will also be mean to us but if we are kind, even the Universe would be kind in return.

May there be understanding & care in this world instead of selfishness & rudeness. To quote late Mr Michael Jackson’s song : “We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day so let’s start giving“. Let’s start loving & living 🙂

The Illusion Called ‘Perfection’

Imperfection isn’t such a bad thing, guys. It’s a trait we are all born with. Don’t be hard on yourself while trying to be your ‘ideal’ best all the time.

By their very make-up, life & physical environment on earth are imperfect. Trees are not painted picture-perfect green all the time, they also shed their leaves & stand bare to witness the wind. Flowers aren’t always facing the sun in all their glory, they also wither away with time. This is called the life cycle. Nature is pleasing as it is & so are we.

I am not saying don’t enhance yourself, please do. Shed your old skin for a newer, more positive, more confident YOU but don’t overkill & try to become ‘flawless’ in everything you do. That’s not possible, my friend. While always be the best version of yourself, remember that best doesn’t equal perfect. Even the best of chefs sometimes don’t whip up their specialty dishes in the most exemplary manner, even the best of consultants sometimes go astray in their domain areas. This is called being human. Let’s be humane about being human. 🙂

We end up inviting mental & subsequent physical problems while chasing ‘perfection’ in every little sphere of our lives. Let go of some thoughts. Sometimes letting go liberates us mentally in ways I can’t even begin to describe in words! It’s a powerful feeling.

Love yourself while being a work-in-progress. Don’t wait for ‘so-&-so’ life event to happen before you start accepting your own self. Life is a journey, with new twists & turns everyday. Put your best foot forward in every situation, learn from every experience but don’t be overly critical when you are not ‘perfect’ according to your own/others’ ‘standards’. We are all learning as we live. Cherish the journey, the destination is not ‘perfection’ but gratitude – for all the learning & experiences. 🙂

Parents’ Need To ‘Show Off’ Their Kids Warrants A Re-Look

” My daughter earns lakhs per year, your son doesn’t even have a stable job?”

“Oh my daughter just got a promotion & is getting such worthy marriage proposals, your daughter isn’t financially independent yet?

Aren’t these some typical conversations that we often see parents indulge in when talking about their off springs? It’s almost as if parents want to carry their off springs’ achievements as badges of honor to be displayed to the whole world – just to boost their own self esteem.

Are children equivalent to medals that need to be displayed to the world only to get some social validation? Why is it necessary for every child to follow the same, conventional route to gain ‘societal approval’?

If a child has the courage & perseverance to go after his/her dream & unfortunately fails to make a mark in the initial few years, why does society start seeing him/her in a different light? WHO SAYS THAT THAT SAME CHILD WON’T ACHIEVE GREAT HEIGHTS IN THE FUTURE? This is the reason why people get so crazy about achieving high grades in examinations – just to attain or maintain a high place in this stifling ‘society’.

Children are individuals in their own right, they will find their own way eventually. These days, sadly,nobody values people for what they are, their value is only determined by their designation. What the hell have we done, World? Where did we go so wrong??

Is it necessary for every person to reach the finish line at the same time? No it’s not & it isn’t even possible. Your child’s success should not determine your place in ‘society’, your behavior & values should. Nobody emphasizes on being a good human being anymore, everyone just wants a large pay package – which only comes in handy while paying hospital bills for all the non communicable diseases acquired while earning loads of money in their ‘stressful’ jobs.

I really PITY people who NEED to compare their children to those children who are, at the moment, supposedly ‘inferior’. Such people NEED to show someone else down, only to rise in their own eyes ! What a shame. Please understand, life is not a linear journey – it is full of ups & downs. After every morning there is an evening & vice versa. The same people who are often looked down by others, rise much much above later in life. Every human is unique – we can’t compare the five fingers in our hand – they have their own role to play so does every person on this planet.

Stop judging people on the basis of their ‘successes’ or ‘failures’. Make life more meaningful. Focus on positive relationships, happiness, motivation, values because, no matter what, in the end (say 80 years down the line) people will only remember, if at all, what kind of a human you were & not what your last pay drawn was. Live & let live ! 🙂

Let’s Learn Manners!

How many of you have interacted with the educated young adults of the 1950s/1960s ? Are you getting reminded of your grandparents or their contemporaries?

I have had the opportunity of meeting some such people & can vouch for the fact that they were and still are a class apart! The manners, the sophistication, the way of handling adverse situations instilled in them was much better than what we see today. In the present times, unfortunately, people really come down to expose their worst side whenever they are cornered.

Don’t believe me? OK, if you ever happen to notice a trivial argument between two people, you’ll see how humiliated they will make each other feel. The ‘F’ word bomb will be the first to be dropped from their mouths. The normalisation of such abusive language in our daily lingo is such a pity. The generation of yore had a certain dignity in them which made them talk respectfully even to their opponents but today people don’t shy away from stooping so low that would make anyone feel embarrassed.

Aren’t people supposed to improve with every passing generation? Why are we retrograding? People roaming around today with smartphones in hand feel they have ‘arrived’ & that they are more privileged than their older counterparts, maybe that’s why they feel, albeit foolishly, empowered enough to push their weight around instead of learning some manners. It’s high time we look ourselves in the mirror & bring about a qualitative change in our behavior to make this world a more livable place!

Love & Marriage

People are good at love but not necessarily at being married. Just look at all the married couples around you, some of them dated for years while some were mere acquaintances before tying the knot but all of them seem to be struggling through this institution called marriage at some point or the other.

So common is this phenomenon that many people simply avoid getting married all their lives even though they maybe going strong with their girlfriend/boyfriend for the longest time. Living the SAME life & making someone an important part of YOUR life are two completely different things.

The ‘opposites attract’ theory sounds thrilling during the courtship period but doesn’t necessarily hold in good stead after getting married. You tell me, if you & your partner are opposites in almost everything from food to clothes to idea of a perfect holiday to the overall outlook towards life, how will you ever find that much needed support for which people yearn to get married ?

For a stable marriage, mutual respect, friendship & a sense of similarity is imperative. Love fizzles out like the carbon dioxide present in soft drinks, what stays is the taste in the drink (and in the relationship). Try & make your relationship fundamentally sweet so that you are not dependent on the temporary fizz to make you happy 🙂

Why Is History Important?

History provides context. Without knowing the past, we can never appreciate the present or plan for the future. By history, I don’t just mean national or world history but even history of a person. Without understanding where a person is coming from, what his/her experiences, learnings, unlearnings have been, we can’t possibly judge a person in entirety.

Say, I have a stomach ache. My doctor will not just ask me my symptoms but also what & from where I had eaten my last meal & also my past medical record. Only then will he/she be able to diagnose whether I have taken ill due to consuming leftover/street food or because of some other reason. Similarly, when trying to make sense of a human, we MUST, as a habit, try & look back into the life of that person.

Just seeing his/her present behavior could lead us into taking an erroneous decision. No need to be in a hurry, analyse situations & then form opinions.