Let’s Learn Manners!

How many of you have interacted with the educated young adults of the 1950s/1960s ? Are you getting reminded of your grandparents or their contemporaries?

I have had the opportunity of meeting some such people & can vouch for the fact that they were and still are a class apart! The manners, the sophistication, the way of handling adverse situations instilled in them was much better than what we see today. In the present times, unfortunately, people really come down to expose their worst side whenever they are cornered.

Don’t believe me? OK, if you ever happen to notice a trivial argument between two people, you’ll see how humiliated they will make each other feel. The ‘F’ word bomb will be the first to be dropped from their mouths. The normalisation of such abusive language in our daily lingo is such a pity. The generation of yore had a certain dignity in them which made them talk respectfully even to their opponents but today people don’t shy away from stooping so low that would make anyone feel embarrassed.

Aren’t people supposed to improve with every passing generation? Why are we retrograding? People roaming around today with smartphones in hand feel they have ‘arrived’ & that they are more privileged than their older counterparts, maybe that’s why they feel, albeit foolishly, empowered enough to push their weight around instead of learning some manners. It’s high time we look ourselves in the mirror & bring about a qualitative change in our behavior to make this world a more livable place!

Love & Marriage

People are good at love but not necessarily at being married. Just look at all the married couples around you, some of them dated for years while some were mere acquaintances before tying the knot but all of them seem to be struggling through this institution called marriage at some point or the other.

So common is this phenomenon that many people simply avoid getting married all their lives even though they maybe going strong with their girlfriend/boyfriend for the longest time. Living the SAME life & making someone an important part of YOUR life are two completely different things.

The ‘opposites attract’ theory sounds thrilling during the courtship period but doesn’t necessarily hold in good stead after getting married. You tell me, if you & your partner are opposites in almost everything from food to clothes to idea of a perfect holiday to the overall outlook towards life, how will you ever find that much needed support for which people yearn to get married ?

For a stable marriage, mutual respect, friendship & a sense of similarity is imperative. Love fizzles out like the carbon dioxide present in soft drinks, what stays is the taste in the drink (and in the relationship). Try & make your relationship fundamentally sweet so that you are not dependent on the temporary fizz to make you happy πŸ™‚

Why Is History Important?

History provides context. Without knowing the past, we can never appreciate the present or plan for the future. By history, I don’t just mean national or world history but even history of a person. Without understanding where a person is coming from, what his/her experiences, learnings, unlearnings have been, we can’t possibly judge a person in entirety.

Say, I have a stomach ache. My doctor will not just ask me my symptoms but also what & from where I had eaten my last meal & also my past medical record. Only then will he/she be able to diagnose whether I have taken ill due to consuming leftover/street food or because of some other reason. Similarly, when trying to make sense of a human, we MUST, as a habit, try & look back into the life of that person.

Just seeing his/her present behavior could lead us into taking an erroneous decision. No need to be in a hurry, analyse situations & then form opinions.

Let’s Be Calm :)

Anxiety comes naturally to us & so do it’s pillion riders called hypertension, diabetes, thyroid, panic attacks..the list is limitless. Our mind loves playing tricks with us. We need to love outsmarting it πŸ™‚

Use logic to quieten your distressed self. Be conscious of each moment, guys. Take in a few deep breaths when your mind starts racing & coaxes you into believing that some upheaval is near when that’s clearly not true.

A calm, mature approach to any situation is always desirable. Anxiety only breeds immaturity & less thought – out actions. Breathe, think & act, not the other way round !

Knowledge & Wisdom Are Different

They are cousins, belonging to the grand tree of learning but don’t share the exact same genes. There are so many knowledgeable people around but wise ones are hard to find. If you ever find one, make sure to assimilate and pass on that wisdom to as many as possible because, after all, sagacity makes a person grounded & purposeful while just being informative may breed arrogance.

Comfort Zone

Oh that feeling…yes,yes that one. It’s unsettling right? You just don’t wanna step out of that soft, velvety cocoon that you now live in. I get you, my friend.

It’s akin to being woken up from a deep slumber by an alarm clock on a Monday morning ! Who likes that but what needs to be done, needs to be done. It is imperative to get out of this comfort zone that we keep putting ourselves into or else we are only inviting inactivity.

Flowing water appears more cheerful than it’s still counterpart. So be like a river, always going with the flow, saying sayonara (bye) to the familiar & kon’nichiwa (hello) to the unknown in order to reach your own fullest potential. Don’t ever forget the known, for it taught you a lot but don’t be afraid of embracing the unknown either !

Believe In Yourself

“Oh, I should have done this. I should have said that then. How I wish I was more confident back then …. “

Familiar with these dialogues? Sure, we ALL are ! Aren’t these the same bullies who pay us an unsolicited visit every time we decide to walk on that less beaten track or when we start comparing ourselves with others ? Gosh, we really need to start respecting & loving our own selves.

Now, I’ll tell you something about bullies – they hide their insecurities behind aggression. That’s what regret (I rather call them learning) & under confidence also try to do with our minds – limit our ability to conquer the world by masking our cognition & emotion over a gloom of darkness. So what, if you didn’t achieve so-so thing before so-so time, you can very well go ahead & add so many new feathers to your cap.

LEARN from your past. Experiences exist to enrich us, not to demean us. Don’t beat yourself over what you could have done because in the process you’ll let go of what you can do. Don’t let your mind rule you, YOU should rule your mind.

You are a summation of the whole of your experiences & not a product of a few negative events that may have hit you like a cyclone. Understand yourself. Have compassion for yourself. There is no time limit for self enhancement, it’s a life long process. Move over your yesterdays to live a shining today & a fulfilling tomorrow. πŸ™‚

‘Failure’ & Overthinking

Please, please, tell me which scripture or legal document says that not being successful in a task is a cardinal sin? None, I would like to believe. If it is not a ‘crime’ then why are people afraid of talking about their misfired adventures?

Life is not supposed to be flawless. I really wonder who put this idea in the minds of the human race that being unsuccessful is something to be ashamed of.

You tell me , you have learnt how to ride a cycle, swim or how to play the guitar, right? Did you learn everything & became a perfectionist from the word go? If yes, then, my friend, you are a supra human ! πŸ™‚ otherwise mortals like me tend to try & try before we finally triumph.

Champions don’t emerge from the sky, they emerge from the masses but what makes them different from the majority is that they don’t believe in giving up, even when they feel that the world thinks they should.

Perseverance is a trait found in all those who want to or have realized the true meaning of life. By all means, fall, please do. Without falling, you won’t realize how to stand up on your own two feet. Tell me one person who has learnt to run without walking or one who has learnt to walk without falling down. I don’t think anyone like this really exists..

Humans overthink & believe that others are as bothered about their so calledfailures’ as they are but that’s far from truth. Everybody’s focal point revolves around their own life. They are as concerned about themselves as you are about yourself so don’t stress over what others would think, only focus on upping your game!

Why Can’t We Handle Criticism?

Often when someone points out our short coming, we tend to take it as a personal insult & make a face as to why this person is saying all that he/she is. This person could be a parent,friend,boss or even a stranger. We end up feeling unpleasant & start criticizing & pointing fingers at the other person in order to drive home the point that even he/she is not perfect..

Reacting like this to any negative feedback is more like a defense mechanism for a lot of people. Why do individuals rise up against an unpalatable critique? All of us know that all mortal beings are, by definition, imperfect then why do we make acknowledging that such a big ego hassle?

If put rightly then the feedback given by the person may still be accepted by us but if he/she decides to say the same thing in a slightly curt manner then suddenly all hell breaks loose & we get into an argument or start harboring a grudge for no rhyme-or-reason.

Learning to be conscious of our blemishes is the only way to emerge brighter than before! Master the art of keeping people who point out your weaknesses close to you because they are the ones who’ll refine you unlike sycophants who only know how to please.