Break Up/ Divorce

One wonders why this so called ‘society’ looks down on a couple who don’t want to be together anymore. Why is it such a big societal taboo to declare that this relationship didn’t work out & it’s time to move on? Moving on means the couple is hoping for better times in each of their lives & in their loved ones’ lives too. Is seeking happiness a crime in the eyes of the world?

It’s better to have two happy homes than to have one unhappy home. Often couples stick together for the sake of their children, not realizing that it’s those very children who would get impacted the most in the long term. Growing up, they’ll only see their parents fight & curse each other – which will plant the seeds of aggression, irritability, helplessness & commitment phobia in them. I sincerely believe that it is in the best interest of all the people involved to let go than to stick to a wound that will only degrade with time. Get a surgery done, remove the wound & live happily thereon.

As humans, we must realize that nothing, absolutely nothing, should come in the path of our own happiness. Why do we start sacrificing, trying to please others rather than pleasing our own selves? Hedonism isn’t such a bad thing, after all. I am not advocating irrational, selfish behavior, all I am saying is that instead of living a lie, it’s better to live with love & laughter. We are on this planet for a short while, let’s be joyful & spread cheer rather than living in gloom forever.

Parents’ Need To ‘Show Off’ Their Kids Warrants A Re-Look

” My daughter earns lakhs per year, your son doesn’t even have a stable job?”

“Oh my daughter just got a promotion & is getting such worthy marriage proposals, your daughter isn’t financially independent yet?“

Aren’t these some typical conversations that we often see parents indulge in when talking about their off springs? It’s almost as if parents want to carry their off springs’ achievements as badges of honor to be displayed to the whole world – just to boost their own self esteem.

Are children equivalent to medals that need to be displayed to the world only to get some social validation? Why is it necessary for every child to follow the same, conventional route to gain ‘societal approval’?

If a child has the courage & perseverance to go after his/her dream & unfortunately fails to make a mark in the initial few years, why does society start seeing him/her in a different light? WHO SAYS THAT THAT SAME CHILD WON’T ACHIEVE GREAT HEIGHTS IN THE FUTURE? This is the reason why people get so crazy about achieving high grades in examinations – just to attain or maintain a high place in this stifling ‘society’.

Children are individuals in their own right, they will find their own way eventually. These days, sadly,nobody values people for what they are, their value is only determined by their designation. What the hell have we done, World? Where did we go so wrong??

Is it necessary for every person to reach the finish line at the same time? No it’s not & it isn’t even possible. Your child’s success should not determine your place in ‘society’, your behavior & values should. Nobody emphasizes on being a good human being anymore, everyone just wants a large pay package – which only comes in handy while paying hospital bills for all the non communicable diseases acquired while earning loads of money in their ‘stressful’ jobs.

I really PITY people who NEED to compare their children to those children who are, at the moment, supposedly ‘inferior’. Such people NEED to show someone else down, only to rise in their own eyes ! What a shame. Please understand, life is not a linear journey – it is full of ups & downs. After every morning there is an evening & vice versa. The same people who are often looked down by others, rise much much above later in life. Every human is unique – we can’t compare the five fingers in our hand – they have their own role to play so does every person on this planet.

Stop judging people on the basis of their ‘successes’ or ‘failures’. Make life more meaningful. Focus on positive relationships, happiness, motivation, values because, no matter what, in the end (say 80 years down the line) people will only remember, if at all, what kind of a human you were & not what your last pay drawn was. Live & let live ! 🙂

Let’s Learn Manners!

How many of you have interacted with the educated young adults of the 1950s/1960s ? Are you getting reminded of your grandparents or their contemporaries?

I have had the opportunity of meeting some such people & can vouch for the fact that they were and still are a class apart! The manners, the sophistication, the way of handling adverse situations instilled in them was much better than what we see today. In the present times, unfortunately, people really come down to expose their worst side whenever they are cornered.

Don’t believe me? OK, if you ever happen to notice a trivial argument between two people, you’ll see how humiliated they will make each other feel. The ‘F’ word bomb will be the first to be dropped from their mouths. The normalisation of such abusive language in our daily lingo is such a pity. The generation of yore had a certain dignity in them which made them talk respectfully even to their opponents but today people don’t shy away from stooping so low that would make anyone feel embarrassed.

Aren’t people supposed to improve with every passing generation? Why are we retrograding? People roaming around today with smartphones in hand feel they have ‘arrived’ & that they are more privileged than their older counterparts, maybe that’s why they feel, albeit foolishly, empowered enough to push their weight around instead of learning some manners. It’s high time we look ourselves in the mirror & bring about a qualitative change in our behavior to make this world a more livable place!

Why Is History Important?

History provides context. Without knowing the past, we can never appreciate the present or plan for the future. By history, I don’t just mean national or world history but even history of a person. Without understanding where a person is coming from, what his/her experiences, learnings, unlearnings have been, we can’t possibly judge a person in entirety.

Say, I have a stomach ache. My doctor will not just ask me my symptoms but also what & from where I had eaten my last meal & also my past medical record. Only then will he/she be able to diagnose whether I have taken ill due to consuming leftover/street food or because of some other reason. Similarly, when trying to make sense of a human, we MUST, as a habit, try & look back into the life of that person.

Just seeing his/her present behavior could lead us into taking an erroneous decision. No need to be in a hurry, analyse situations & then form opinions.

Do I Sound Utopian?

“Be the change you want to see in the world.“

I am sure you have come across this quote way too many times. You have heard it, maybe rote learnt it for an exam too, but have you internalized it?

My writings speak of a more humane, peaceful, compassionate & less anxious world. Some of you may think I sound Utopian & that we can only do so much – at best change ourselves but not the people around us, so what’s the point in being so nice when others just go about their daily life without a care for virtues?

Good question, buddy but I have a counter for it 🙂 Change starts from within us. If negativity multiplied in a domino effect why can’t positive thought & action counter it by being a greater force? If we all start to change bit-by-bit, this world would surely become a more congenial space to co-exist in.

Through vicarious learning people would start emulating you provided you start believing in being the force behind the CHANGE. Sustainable development of the human race is crucial for life to flourish in. We were NOT created to tolerate the ‘drudgery’ of life ! We were given the gift of life to make some good out of it not just for ourselves but for others too.

Take a step forward in the right direction, you’ll see an entire camaraderie rallying behind you. Call a spade, a spade. Stand up for what is right. Reject the wrong. Start with your own flaws. Leave impressive footprints for humanity to follow & learn from & one day you’ll look back feeling satisfied 🙂

“Oh You Are So Pretty!” :P

”Oh you are so good looking”, said X to Y. Y blushed & said “oh, thank you! “

I have never understood why people say ‘thank you’ when someone compliments them for their looks. Did they customize their face & skin color in the factory of the Universe? Of course not. They were just born with their physical features so then why should they be taking credit by saying ‘thanks’? They should just say, “well, yeah, nature made me like that”.

Same goes for those who are brandished ‘ugly’ by these so called societal standards. They didn’t choose their features but the people looking down on them are certainly choosing their words. By being mean, these bullies only expose how shallow they are from within. Now, whose the ‘ugly’ one here?

Embrace yourself the way YOU are. Real beauty lies WITHIN. It manifests itself in our WILL POWER, DETERMINATION & POSITIVE ATTITUDE. This is not a cliche but the truth.

Improve as a person not as a ‘body’. Don’t be so obsessed with physical features because they don’t define who you are – your thoughts & actions do. A monochrome life on this planet would have been dull therefore the Universe decided to put in variety of all sorts – cherish them. Value them. After all, there is a sense of harmony in diversity.

Judging Foodies

Food gives happiness & comfort to so many people. The kind of optimism it generates, the dopamine rush, seems to be quite exhilarating for foodies.

Those who live to eat are sometimes looked down by those who eat to live, I wonder why. Like others have hobbies like singing, painting, dancing etc which make them happy & help them to put their best foot forward, why can’t they understand that food makes foodies joyful..

Judgment comes so easily to humans, more like a heuristic but the thought of being empathetic doesn’t. Empathy would prevent so much of chaos in this world & make this place a better one to live in.