Tag: happiness

The Illusion Called ‘Perfection’

Imperfection isn’t such a bad thing, guys. It’s a trait we are all born with. Don’t be hard on yourself while trying to be your ‘ideal’ best all the time.

By their very make-up, life & physical environment on earth are imperfect. Trees are not painted picture-perfect green all the time, they also shed their leaves & stand bare to witness the wind. Flowers aren’t always facing the sun in all their glory, they also wither away with time. This is called the life cycle. Nature is pleasing as it is & so are we.

I am not saying don’t enhance yourself, please do. Shed your old skin for a newer, more positive, more confident YOU but don’t overkill & try to become ‘flawless’ in everything you do. That’s not possible, my friend. While always be the best version of yourself, remember that best doesn’t equal perfect. Even the best of chefs sometimes don’t whip up their specialty dishes in the most exemplary manner, even the best of consultants sometimes go astray in their domain areas. This is called being human. Let’s be humane about being human. 🙂

We end up inviting mental & subsequent physical problems while chasing ‘perfection’ in every little sphere of our lives. Let go of some thoughts. Sometimes letting go liberates us mentally in ways I can’t even begin to describe in words! It’s a powerful feeling.

Love yourself while being a work-in-progress. Don’t wait for ‘so-&-so’ life event to happen before you start accepting your own self. Life is a journey, with new twists & turns everyday. Put your best foot forward in every situation, learn from every experience but don’t be overly critical when you are not ‘perfect’ according to your own/others’ ‘standards’. We are all learning as we live. Cherish the journey, the destination is not ‘perfection’ but gratitude – for all the learning & experiences. 🙂

Parents’ Need To ‘Show Off’ Their Kids Warrants A Re-Look

” My daughter earns lakhs per year, your son doesn’t even have a stable job?”

“Oh my daughter just got a promotion & is getting such worthy marriage proposals, your daughter isn’t financially independent yet?“

Aren’t these some typical conversations that we often see parents indulge in when talking about their off springs? It’s almost as if parents want to carry their off springs’ achievements as badges of honor to be displayed to the whole world – just to boost their own self esteem.

Are children equivalent to medals that need to be displayed to the world only to get some social validation? Why is it necessary for every child to follow the same, conventional route to gain ‘societal approval’?

If a child has the courage & perseverance to go after his/her dream & unfortunately fails to make a mark in the initial few years, why does society start seeing him/her in a different light? WHO SAYS THAT THAT SAME CHILD WON’T ACHIEVE GREAT HEIGHTS IN THE FUTURE? This is the reason why people get so crazy about achieving high grades in examinations – just to attain or maintain a high place in this stifling ‘society’.

Children are individuals in their own right, they will find their own way eventually. These days, sadly,nobody values people for what they are, their value is only determined by their designation. What the hell have we done, World? Where did we go so wrong??

Is it necessary for every person to reach the finish line at the same time? No it’s not & it isn’t even possible. Your child’s success should not determine your place in ‘society’, your behavior & values should. Nobody emphasizes on being a good human being anymore, everyone just wants a large pay package – which only comes in handy while paying hospital bills for all the non communicable diseases acquired while earning loads of money in their ‘stressful’ jobs.

I really PITY people who NEED to compare their children to those children who are, at the moment, supposedly ‘inferior’. Such people NEED to show someone else down, only to rise in their own eyes ! What a shame. Please understand, life is not a linear journey – it is full of ups & downs. After every morning there is an evening & vice versa. The same people who are often looked down by others, rise much much above later in life. Every human is unique – we can’t compare the five fingers in our hand – they have their own role to play so does every person on this planet.

Stop judging people on the basis of their ‘successes’ or ‘failures’. Make life more meaningful. Focus on positive relationships, happiness, motivation, values because, no matter what, in the end (say 80 years down the line) people will only remember, if at all, what kind of a human you were & not what your last pay drawn was. Live & let live ! 🙂

Love & Marriage

People are good at love but not necessarily at being married. Just look at all the married couples around you, some of them dated for years while some were mere acquaintances before tying the knot but all of them seem to be struggling through this institution called marriage at some point or the other.

So common is this phenomenon that many people simply avoid getting married all their lives even though they maybe going strong with their girlfriend/boyfriend for the longest time. Living the SAME life & making someone an important part of YOUR life are two completely different things.

The ‘opposites attract’ theory sounds thrilling during the courtship period but doesn’t necessarily hold in good stead after getting married. You tell me, if you & your partner are opposites in almost everything from food to clothes to idea of a perfect holiday to the overall outlook towards life, how will you ever find that much needed support for which people yearn to get married ?

For a stable marriage, mutual respect, friendship & a sense of similarity is imperative. Love fizzles out like the carbon dioxide present in soft drinks, what stays is the taste in the drink (and in the relationship). Try & make your relationship fundamentally sweet so that you are not dependent on the temporary fizz to make you happy 🙂

Why Is History Important?

History provides context. Without knowing the past, we can never appreciate the present or plan for the future. By history, I don’t just mean national or world history but even history of a person. Without understanding where a person is coming from, what his/her experiences, learnings, unlearnings have been, we can’t possibly judge a person in entirety.

Say, I have a stomach ache. My doctor will not just ask me my symptoms but also what & from where I had eaten my last meal & also my past medical record. Only then will he/she be able to diagnose whether I have taken ill due to consuming leftover/street food or because of some other reason. Similarly, when trying to make sense of a human, we MUST, as a habit, try & look back into the life of that person.

Just seeing his/her present behavior could lead us into taking an erroneous decision. No need to be in a hurry, analyse situations & then form opinions.

Let’s Be Calm :)

Anxiety comes naturally to us & so do it’s pillion riders called hypertension, diabetes, thyroid, panic attacks..the list is limitless. Our mind loves playing tricks with us. We need to love outsmarting it 🙂

Use logic to quieten your distressed self. Be conscious of each moment, guys. Take in a few deep breaths when your mind starts racing & coaxes you into believing that some upheaval is near when that’s clearly not true.

A calm, mature approach to any situation is always desirable. Anxiety only breeds immaturity & less thought – out actions. Breathe, think & act, not the other way round !

Knowledge & Wisdom Are Different

They are cousins, belonging to the grand tree of learning but don’t share the exact same genes. There are so many knowledgeable people around but wise ones are hard to find. If you ever find one, make sure to assimilate and pass on that wisdom to as many as possible because, after all, sagacity makes a person grounded & purposeful while just being informative may breed arrogance.

Comfort Zone

Oh that feeling…yes,yes that one. It’s unsettling right? You just don’t wanna step out of that soft, velvety cocoon that you now live in. I get you, my friend.

It’s akin to being woken up from a deep slumber by an alarm clock on a Monday morning ! Who likes that but what needs to be done, needs to be done. It is imperative to get out of this comfort zone that we keep putting ourselves into or else we are only inviting inactivity.

Flowing water appears more cheerful than it’s still counterpart. So be like a river, always going with the flow, saying sayonara (bye) to the familiar & kon’nichiwa (hello) to the unknown in order to reach your own fullest potential. Don’t ever forget the known, for it taught you a lot but don’t be afraid of embracing the unknown either !

Believe In Yourself

“Oh, I should have done this. I should have said that then. How I wish I was more confident back then …. “

Familiar with these dialogues? Sure, we ALL are ! Aren’t these the same bullies who pay us an unsolicited visit every time we decide to walk on that less beaten track or when we start comparing ourselves with others ? Gosh, we really need to start respecting & loving our own selves.

Now, I’ll tell you something about bullies – they hide their insecurities behind aggression. That’s what regret (I rather call them learning) & under confidence also try to do with our minds – limit our ability to conquer the world by masking our cognition & emotion over a gloom of darkness. So what, if you didn’t achieve so-so thing before so-so time, you can very well go ahead & add so many new feathers to your cap.

LEARN from your past. Experiences exist to enrich us, not to demean us. Don’t beat yourself over what you could have done because in the process you’ll let go of what you can do. Don’t let your mind rule you, YOU should rule your mind.

You are a summation of the whole of your experiences & not a product of a few negative events that may have hit you like a cyclone. Understand yourself. Have compassion for yourself. There is no time limit for self enhancement, it’s a life long process. Move over your yesterdays to live a shining today & a fulfilling tomorrow. 🙂

Do I Sound Utopian?

“Be the change you want to see in the world.“

I am sure you have come across this quote way too many times. You have heard it, maybe rote learnt it for an exam too, but have you internalized it?

My writings speak of a more humane, peaceful, compassionate & less anxious world. Some of you may think I sound Utopian & that we can only do so much – at best change ourselves but not the people around us, so what’s the point in being so nice when others just go about their daily life without a care for virtues?

Good question, buddy but I have a counter for it 🙂 Change starts from within us. If negativity multiplied in a domino effect why can’t positive thought & action counter it by being a greater force? If we all start to change bit-by-bit, this world would surely become a more congenial space to co-exist in.

Through vicarious learning people would start emulating you provided you start believing in being the force behind the CHANGE. Sustainable development of the human race is crucial for life to flourish in. We were NOT created to tolerate the ‘drudgery’ of life ! We were given the gift of life to make some good out of it not just for ourselves but for others too.

Take a step forward in the right direction, you’ll see an entire camaraderie rallying behind you. Call a spade, a spade. Stand up for what is right. Reject the wrong. Start with your own flaws. Leave impressive footprints for humanity to follow & learn from & one day you’ll look back feeling satisfied 🙂